Monday, December 14, 2009

Guest Post: A New Life Form?

Today my talented sister and fellow writer, Mitzi, has consented to pop over here and share this hysterical short essay she wrote! To tell what it's about is to give it away. :) But I hope you all enjoy it!
Science has made a remarkable discovery. A new life-form. Cold-blooded, and completely without emotions, this creature bears startling physical resemblances to Humans. Their natural habitat is what they call an 'office'. A room, cluttered by stacks and piles of paper, envelopes marked URGENT, phones ringing. They spend most of their time seated in chairs with wheels, which they shoot back and forth from the desk while speaking in calm tones over the telephone.

Their favorite tool is a large pen, their favorite color red, their favorite word REJECTED. Preferably all together. They have mastered the art of speech, and spend their free time memorizing the Dictionary of Insulting Long Words.

They have made extensive studies of smiling... the more teeth, the better. Their most common heard phrase is “I'm sorry, BUT....” in slow tones, laced with the occasional mention of “agents” or “a little editing”. They keep printers going at all times, and computer files open at Reject Letter.

Science fears for the extinction of this species – not from natural disaster, but from their most common predator, an ancient and savage breed called Writers or Authors. But most of this new life-form has already taken protective measures and hired Large, Well-Muscled Humans with Guns. This is called Protection.

We are seeing a long happy future for this new species, for every year there are more Writers and more Books and Envelopes.... just waiting for the Mark of the Red Pen.

Oh, did I forget to mention? Scientists are calling them Publishers.


Hahaha! Thanks so much for visiting, Mitzi! Love you!

For those of you who enjoyed Mitzi's post, she blogs about scriptwriting at:


Spits said...

*laughs until she cries* Gotta love ya, Mitzi!

Hannah said...

*rolls on the floor laughing* *gets disapproving glares from Felix and a weird look from Justin* *Lizzie, Mom, and Dad just shake their heads and mutter, "Storytellers...."*

Adam said...

Funny. We writers are a pretty strange species too. Hopefully these two species can work together to create some great stories.

Louis Edwards said...

Love your new post on new life forms.


Kayla said...

Haha! Awesome! Perfectly wonderful! People are really beginning to notice! :D Brilliant, Mitzi!

Love, Kayla

Hannah said...

Can I show this to my science teacher, btw? She's love it.

K.M. Weiland said...

Poor publishers... they're so misunderstood. ;)

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